I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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