his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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