the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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