so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm like, not good at living.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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