I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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