I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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