you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
