hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
