You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
