This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You are the jesus of drinking
Enjoy the penises
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
