Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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