dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
