Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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