i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize