I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
