You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize