Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
