So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
