it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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