White coat. Heels.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
