I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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