Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
