I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
