Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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