dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
