Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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