Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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