He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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