I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
