It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
