dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
