the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
