You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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