party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
