You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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