ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's always time for handjobs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
