i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
