She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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