Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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