ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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