I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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