i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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