I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
