just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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