This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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