I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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