careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
