i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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