it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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