That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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