What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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