brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
