I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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