Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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