Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
