I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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