u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
