Swine flu. Run for my life!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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