she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Drunk is not a location!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
