So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
