I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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