I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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