dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize