She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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