I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
