this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize