If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
