Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
