This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
