I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize