Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
