i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
