that's an acceptable place to lick
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
